Russian Man Marries a Pizza because it will not betray him

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22 year old russian man just got married to a pizza. The wedding ceremony is alleged to have taken place city of Tomsk, Russia.
The ceremony took place in a local pizzeria with the chefs and managers as witnesses. The restaurant even presented them with a non-official but very smart wedding certificate on a clipboard.
The man said that he decided to marry a pizza because it will not betray or reject him, but how on earth will he have s– with it, leave that to your imagination.
“At some point,” the man said, “I realized that half of my friends were complaining about their better half, while the others were complaining about the lack of a better half.”

According to his buddies, the man is perfectly sane and just made his decision after seeing his friends suffering in their marriages.

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