Hilarious January Cost-Cutting Measures that will leave you in stitches

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According to
the Kenyan language, January AKA Njaanuary is the hottest month when it comes
to financial crisis. It is the moment where many try to come into terms with
the harsh conditions after the massive spending during the festive season and
not forgetting back to school in the beginning of the month.
Well here is
a hilarious internal memo that has been making rounds on social media
INTERNAL MEMO
———————–
FROM: HUSBAND
TO: ALL DEPENDENTS, RELATIVES, FRIENDS
CC:WIFE
SUBJECT: 2014 BUDGET FINANCIAL- MELTDOWN/ COST CUTTING MEASURES FOR
YOUR URGENT ATTENTION:
Due to the current economic situation, all domestic rules and regulations
have been revised as below.
1. The Kitchen is declared a restricted zone. Entry and/or passage
shall require express permission from myself upon submission of
written request.
2. Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be discussed!
3. Such food items as rice, chicken,
butter, jam, eggs, bread and milk are restricted. Anyone intending to
eat any of such foodstuffs must write to me in triplicate, with three
days notice, giving justifications.
4. Watering with a hose pipe is banned. Further, only food-giving plants
shall be watered. No lawns or flowers shall receive water.
5. Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 litres of water per day per
person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical
reasons.6. All security lights should be removed with immediate effect.
All dependents shall abide by an all- night guard-duty roster I
shall make available shortly.
7. No dependent shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to offer
food, drinks or even music. Those who want their guests to listen to
music shall sing for them.8. No one is allowed to talk to officials
from police, Council or Court Bailiffs; doing so shall carry an
instantaneous penalty of ejection from my house.
9. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in my house
shall immediately have to seek temporary employment somewhere to earn
money to replace such broken items.
0. All visitors intending to spend a
night week or more shall apply in triplicate and give two months
notice, with an endorsement from their
town county Rep, Village Chief, or Pastor giving convincing reasons
why they can’t stay at their homes. 
Failure to do this shall result in
their being turned away, at the gate, upon arrival.

THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT
TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!
Regards Daddy (Owner of the House)

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