Nairobi Preachers Unmasked! Including Prophet Owuor And Kathy Kiuna, here are the ungodly things they do

We all can't live without the 'word of God' but these days, many false 'prophets' have come up to deceive us in broad day light.

Pastor DR. Kanyari, Self proclaimed god, Jehovah Wanyonyi, Pastor James Maina Ng'ang'a, the list is endless are just some of the scandalous and controversial 'men of God.'

Many have been quite about the issues but Njoki Chege decided to let it all out. and f you think you will stop her now, then forget it.

This young and energetic damsel is going to expose each and every evil act in the society, Just wait and see.

Here is what she has for you:

They are on television, glossy magazine covers, blogs and newspapers. So I thought I should give them a starter pack for being the ultimate female Nairobi pastor. Can I get an Amen!

With thousands of young, clueless congregants who plant a seed at your whim, you are bound to have tons of money. Dress expensively. Have as many expensive, shiny kitenges as you can amass and complement those dresses with sky-high heels you can barely walk in. It doesnt matter if you are naturally not classy, the whole idea is to look expensive and well fed (as you call fat). While at it, ensure you pile on a cake of make-up. Dont forget your fake lashes and devilishly long, red, fake nails. To complete your look, throw on an expensive Brazilian weave. Ensure the weave is colourful. The Lord loves a colourful weaver! Even better if your weave resembles the South African flag. Remember, a polished look is attractive to those naïve female followers who admire your lifestyle. An expensive look is great for the prosperity gospel that you are hawking. You want the young women in your congregation to think they can be you someday. Who better to teach them than the Reverend, the Queen Bee herself?

It doesnt matter if you were raised in Ndumberi or Wanyee. Or if you landed in Nairobi 20 years ago, an unschooled, pregnant village girl. It doesnt even matter that you never studied theology at a reputable college. Girl, youve got to roll that tongue. You know worr am sayin? Have some swag in your speech. Twang to your word as you teach the Word, sister!
You have 99 problems but money isnt one of them. We do not serve a poor God, so why should
a woman of God, a servant of the Most High, live like a pauper? Flaunt your wealth on Instagram. Let your haters hate on Twitter, sorry, twirra. Be the poster child for the prosperity gospel you are marketing. Go golfing on Mondays. I mean, who works on Mondays? Holiday in exotic places. Take lots of photos. Upload them on social media. Drive those guzzlers you purchased with
those poor peoples offerings. A woman of God must live like a queen. Isnt Christ the King, after all? Your children too must not be left behind. Teach them to be spendthrifts. The Lord blesses us and our childrens children. Remember the story of Abraham? Buy your daughters sleek cars and take them to affluent schools abroad. The congregation is paying for it.
Show off your bishop husband. Act like the perfect couple. You are too good to have marital problems. Tell the whole world what a lucky woman you are. Pose on every magazine cover,
holding each other like lovesick teenagers. Post pictures of the two of you on social media in yourbiker gear, leaning against your Harley-Davidson motorbikes. Ensure you mention your husband and how much the two of you are inseparable, in every media interview. But dont forget to be very protective of your husband; you can never trust those sisters in church. They are the agents of the devil; little Jezebelic demons in high, noisy heels. Make sure
your office is right outside his office in your church building. You want to inspect every woman who comes into the Bishops office. The devil is not an ugly creature with a tail and horns; the devil is a pretty little liar that feigns marital problems to have Bishop lay hands on her. Ensure these pretty liars pass by your office first. You are the perfect wife. You will solve their cheating-husband problems. The only pretty girl the Bishop will see is you. You are the fairest of them all!
Your congregation is vulnerable, but the female members are more vulnerable. Their weakness is your strength. Doesnt the Bible say in 2nd Corinthians 12:9: My strength is made perfect in
weakness? Gather the daughters once every month and brainwash their silly little brains.
Transform their lives by the renewal and removal of their brains sister! Capitalise on their marital problems and their endless search for husbands. Indoctrinate those naïve childless, husbandless women with the false promise of prosperity. Feed them with half-truths, deceptive arguments and logical fallacies about the kind of men they should marry. Use the Bible to make superficially sound arguments that have immense power to brainwash. You must tell them not to date those losers who live in Eastlands and Roysambu. Of course, dont forget to tell these defenceless, desperate women to plant a seed to get a husband. Make them call you mum to give them a false sense of security. To make you popular, start a television show and invite neer-do-wells to discuss their success stories. Talk half the time throughout your show and make it all about you. You are the gospel diva. Before the show is over, sing one of your songs. It aint over until the fat lady sings.
Your church is your business. Mastery of your target market is the key to a breakthrough. To maximise on your capital gains, be very clear about your market and ensure the whole world
knows about it. Poor people from Eastlands are not welcome to your church. Make that crystal clear. Who needs poor people? And why are these people so poor? Why isnt everyone successful like you? Why cant everyone live in a palatial estate like you? Why isnt everyone smart like you? Poor people are such a nag; they should stay within a 77 mile radius from your church. Poor people are a bad omen. They are devils agents. They cannot tithe. All they need is prayers to raise rent. Ensure your church is located at a nice address where the poor people would have to go through a forest to find a road to get to it. Only Jesus loves poor people, and you are not Jesus. You are a businesswoman. The exotic holiday wont pay itself. Of course, there are other tips, like pride, self- importance and condemning columnists (like this one) to eternal torment and annihilation. Sisters, my prayer for you this Saturday is that may the Lord bless you and keep you, shine His face upon you, but may He especially extend your boundaries and fill your little purses with his wealth and richness. Amen?
Njoki Chege

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26 August 2015 at 10:56 delete

To all you who attack preachers for spending what they get, open your own churches and spend the tithes and offerings you will get as you think it should be spent.
Alternatively, get a financial adviser to give you instructions on how to spend your salary.
Remember the case of the speck and the log in the eye?
Yeah. That was meant for you!